Celina says I need to post more often

So here is another list because I'm real good at them-

Foods I will consume once I am off the Jillian diet:

*Stuffed Crust Pizza

*Fettuccine Alfredo

*Rolls from the Texas Roadhouse

*Costa Vida

*Yellow Cake Batter

*Cookies

*Artichoke Dip from Roosters

Body Parts that hurt while on the Jillian Workout Plan:

*Shoulders

*Legs

*Fingers

*Pecs

*Calves

*Abs

New Year's Resolutions:

*To not be fat anymore (hence, Jillian)

*To be more confident

*To be a little, tiny bit nicer

*To not judge so harshly

*To FINALLY pass math

Things that suck:

*Being alone

*School

*Snow

*The fact that my bumper is about to fall off of my car because of the snow

Things that rule:

*Friends

*Target

*Sales

*Warm Beds

TV shows that I heart:

*The Office

*The Real World (love Chet)

*The Biggest Loser

*The Soup

*Tool Academy (hilarious, yet sad)

*Rock of Love Bus (these skanks are nasty)

*Chelsea Lately

I think that's all...

Jillian Hates You Because You Are Fat...oh, and Happy New Year!

So I know that it's past the new year but what do you do...

It's been awhile since I've posted so here is a run down of my holiday season:

• I got the Jillian Michaels book Making the Cut for Christmas.  She is crazy and I am sore.  It's a 30 day program of dieting and exercising and it is super hard.  Looking at the workout it didn't seem like it was going to be that hard, turns out it is.  
• I got some super cute shoes for Christmas and some money.  Some movies and some clothes.  That's about it.  It was an okay Christmas overall, better than I thought it would be (this evaluation of the holiday is based on my sadness factor, not on the number of gifts I got.  
• I went to lunch with Gary and Meganlee while they were in town.  We went to the El Matador.  Good food, good times.  
• I got lots of days off work!  yes!
• Saw some old friends from high school.  Saw some people from high school that I hated.  Saw one person from high school who was mean and horrible and he has changed into a lovely, kind person.  How nice.  

For New Year's Celina and I went to Salt Lake to party it up at the Huka with our friends.  It was a lot more fun than I had expected to have (look-I had a rough day) and I made friends with a cute boy who I also kissed at midnight...too bad he never called me...

This is Celina and I at the New Year's extravaganza

This is Celina, Katchie, and I

Celina, Mace, and Jessica

Ed and I (the cute boy that I kissed, hope he doesn't mind me spreading that around the internet).

Hate the snow...

It took me more than 2 hours to get home from work yesterday, too bad it usually only takes 20 minutes. I am over the snow. The freeway was closed...everyone took the same road I did...I just can't understand why it is that people that live in Utah can't figure out how to drive in the snow. It happens every year! EVERY YEAR IT SNOWS. Figure it out.

a list of sorts

Reasons that I hate people-
*Yesterday I went to the mall and when I was leaving I was walking across the road into the parking lot. I was about halfway into a lane when a mustang came down the lane and had to stop because I was walking. I get across the road and the d-bag in the mustang rolls down his window and says "you're welcome". REALLY GUY BECAUSE I"M PRETTY SURE YOU HAVE TO STOP. Seriously, I turned around and gave him a nasty look and said really? REALLY?
*I decided to buy myself a little flat screen TV. I had christmas bucks to RC Willey and needed to use them so I got a little TV. So I go to pick it up from the warehouse and I'm standing there and the guy brings it out and says seriously? and I said what? and then he stumbled on his words and was all oh, uh, um are you katie? Then when he put the TV in my car he placed it atop my sunglasses. Um, he's lucky they didn't break. Thanks.
*The lady in front of me at the American Eagle threw a huge fit because she had to stand in line. Guess what? It's Christmas. The mall? It's real busy. REAL busy. So I suggest that if you don't want to stand in line that you get to the mall first thing in the morning, right when it opens and there won't be that many people. Don't go at 4 in the afternoon when everyone has just gotten out of school and off of work.
*The fellow that felt it necessary to name his son Adolf Hitler and is now complaining that the kid is being discriminated against. First it's sick that the man would do that to his child because that name is probably going to hinder him for the rest of his life but it's really just sick that the man also named one of his other children Aryan Nation. You have got to be kidding me. You can't be mad when people discriminate against your kid when you have given them names associated with the most horrible atrocity ever.
*The fact that P. Diddy wants to make a cologne that smells like his breath-no ones breath smells that good.

Reasons I sometimes like people-
*Because Vince Vaughan is a person and he is hilarious. I think I would marry him because he is so damn funny. Go see Four Christmases. It is the best. So funny.
*My friends. They make me feel a tad bit better even though I am teetering on the edge of sanity. Thanks guys.
*Because T.I. and Rihanna made that super catchy song "Live Your Life" which I have listened to repeatedly.

Sorry that I am a downer. I'm just not happy at all right now. I'm working on it but I don't see any good in the world right now. I know that's horrible and that I could be a lot worse off but I feel like crap all the time and I'm pretty sick of it. I'm hoping that it will go away soon. Hopefully it will...

Life sucks

Dude life blows something serious these days.  I am hating it.  I'll warn you now that if you don't like complaining and some possible swearing then quit reading now.  Thanks.

I realize that things could be worse.  I have a job, I have my health, I have a family and some friends.  I get it thanks.  But honestly I have not felt this bad about myself for a very long time.  People that I have trusted (which is hard for me to do in the first place) have betrayed that trust and made me feel like a fool.  Never been so hurt or angry in my life.  I'm sure you're all curious as to what happened so I'll tell you because this is the internet and hopefully it gets around to the entire world so this person can suffer.  Dick.

Zachary Jack Taylor my boyfriend of 5 long years cheated on me about 2 years ago.  REAL NICE RIGHT?  I had suspected something was going on because he wasn't coming home until super late and all that obvious stuff but when I asked him about it um, about 100 different times he denied it.  Since we broke up though he has been a major asshole to me so yesterday I finally got him to confess.  I would have punched him in the face if I didn't think I would get punched back.  

I feel like an idiot and a fool but most of all I feel like I wasted so much of my life.  I was busy cooking dinner for a shithead when I could have been out meeting boys that are decent and not cowards.  I could have been having fun with my friends instead of struggling to make a relationship that obviously meant nothing to someone work.  I'm just really hurt and actually quite embarrassed.  I'm surprised that I am even writing this.  But  I am sure that I'm not the first person that this has happened to and I guarantee I am not the last.  It just sucks so very much.  Are there any decent people in the world?  and why I am I such a bad judge of character?  I wish that I could say that I'll take this as a learning experience but I don't think that I can.  I've always been bitter and cynical and this makes it just that much worse.  Honestly I am not a trusting person in the first place and for this to happen makes me want to give up on love altogether.  I don't want to die alone, but I certainly never want to feel like this again.  It's not fair-I gave everything to him and got taken for granted.  Stupid me for opening myself up and letting someone in.  There is a reason that I don't have friends and it's because I don't want to get hurt.  So for someone I loved dearly to do this makes me sick.  I'm lost and confused and so hurt that I'm numb.  I hate him and I should have trusted my heart when it said that he was not being faithful but I didn't, I believed him, what an idiot.  

Seriously what the hell is wrong with people?  Why does it seem like it's okay to cheat nowadays?  Politicians do it all the time and their wives stand next to them while they confess and apologize on TV.  Fuck that.  It's not okay.  It's sick and sad and disgusting.  If you don't have the balls to tell someone you don't want to be with them than you are not a man at all.  I really hope that karma is a bitch to him and that he gets what's coming to him.  He needs his life ruined because he has certainly ruined mine lately.  

I'm embarrassed and hurt and angry and sad and confused.  Where do I go from here?  How do I pick up the pieces of my messed up life?  It's so shattered I don't know that it can ever be put back together...